Oliver Reed
(is manlier than you)
Reed out-Dickensed Dickens with his thoroughly despicable Bill Sikes.
A rare non-menacing pose.
Tell me this isn’t unfrozen caveman lawyer.
Ollie fondly reminiscing of the time he drank a case of beer, a magnum of wine, a gallon of scotch, beat 25 men at armwrestling, squeesed 42 pairs of tits, ate an entire side of beef, smoked a box of cuban cigars, and had sex with everybody…. No wait…he’s unconscious in this one… SORRY!
OK, imagine that it’s the 60’s. You’ve just been invited to a party up at the spooky mansion by the graveyard across town. The invite was from a “Dr. Acula”. You go because it’s supposed to be a huge event. On your way up the creaking steps you hear rock-and-roll music but when you listen closely you hear the faint sounds of maniacal laughter, moaning, and chains rattling. You approach the door and use the satanic looking knocker. The door swings open and this is the guy who takes your coat and hat.
Gettin’ a little porky Ollie, but check that righteous ‘stache… perfect use for all that surplus upper lip area of his.
This is about as tough as any man could ever look wilst sitting in a restaurant booth.
Oliver Reed was the gnarliest honest-to-god-bad-ass ever to portray a bad-ass on screen. Just look at this guy… he looks like Mr.Hyde, plus he’s got all kinds of street rep from beating up hundreds of strangers in barfights. He had knife scars on his face from fights HE WON! He’s been stabbed, sucker-punched and clubbed and yet, he always managed to clean the floor with the sorry scoundrel that met his prehistoric gaze. He drank prodigious amounts of booze, arm-wrestled, spat, and played rugby. The man must have sweat pure testosterone. So dedicate all of your future toasts “Cheers to Oliver Reed!” because toasting to Ollie is sure to grant you cosmic permission to drink as much booze as you want, any time of the day, any day of the week.
SARACANITE 