Author: saracanite

Posted on by saracanite

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…….I rarely patronize a franchised establishment when I can avoid it. I try to find the “Ma & Pa” places to do my business. Wherever you go these days, every town feels the same as the last one. The same businesses, the same restaurants turning this whole damn country this big fucking homogenized… STERILE place.
…….But there are a few exceptions that I’ll make, and when I’m on the road, Waffle House is one of them. Yes, yes, I know there’s like a million of them scattered about our great land, but one thing about this venerable establishment: there’s nothing STERILE about a Waffle House.

…….Firstly, if you have a morbid curiosity to view the very dregs of mankind, this is the place for you. Allot of people talk about the freak show over at IHOP… well, let me tell you brother: the IHOP weirdos can’t hold a candle to the nut-jobs encountered at Waffle House. On Sunday mornings you’ll find the church crowd in an IHOP. Sunday morning at the Waffle House finds it populated with alcoholic traveling salesmen who just blew their last sale, somber truckers crying into there coffee, and a spectrum of washouts that you’d swear were just released from prison, or turned out from the methadone clinic that day.
…….I had a waitress once, who had prison tattoos all over her arms. She was smoking a cigarette while she took my order (and another, while she prepared it) and her name tag clearly read “Granny”. Have I got your attention now?
…….Once while dining with friends at a Waffle House on a Wednesday night, I looked up from our conversation, and discovered we were the only people in the restaurant. There were no other customers, and the three women working when we arrived momentarily vanished. Try to imagine that. It makes one immediately suspect zombies (or worse yet CHUDS) just outside the window glass. Apparently they all went on break at the same time. Presumably after looking at my group and judging that we weren’t menacing enough to require supervision. Who would rob a Waffle House anyway?

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…….Ironically, the service and the food is top-notch. At certain hours of the day, your waitress may also be the one cooking your meal, and they want that tip. They’ll call you “cutie” or “hon” or “sweethart” and, to be frank, those words make me blush regardless of Granny’s shade of blue hair.

  • Not on the menu? No worry, most Waffle Houses will fix you ANYTHING you ask for.
  • Had to wait along time to get a your order taken? Hey, sorry about that, heres a free bowl of Bert’s Chilli.
  • Would you like a slice of pie? Its on the house.

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…….Every Waffle House has a jukebox, and along with a few pop standards those jukeboxes all come loaded with a selection of Waffle House specific music. Including such timeless favorites as “Waffle Do Wop” and “There are Raisins in my Toast”. Honest to God!
…….Interestingly, Waffle House doesn’t try to downplay their inherent weirdness, if anything they embrace it. Every restaurant feels strangely misplaced in time. The genuine hospitality, the colorful menus filled with fun-facts, the option of getting cherry or vanilla syrup in your Coke. These are things we’ve come to not expect anymore and they add a bit of gonzo nostalgia. Waffle House, I salute you.

The Shaving Cream Racket by Jeffrey A. Tucker

Posted on by saracanite

http://www.lewrockwell.com/tucker/tucker65.html

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…….Its true, even innocent looking shaving cream is an evil anti-consumer scam. Stop using it America!
…….My beard grows in pretty fast and if I’m trying to be clean-cut, I just gots ta shave every day. When I was using shaving cream or gel, if I strayed even the slightest bit from my shaving routine, my face would suffer… I’d get bumps or razor burn if I shaved too soon, or if I shaved too quickly, or if I used a razor that was too sharp or one that was too dull, or whatever.
…….It was bad enough where I finally just said “Fuck it! Nothing works anyway!” and started shaving in the shower with bar soap. After about a week, I never had razor burn or bumps again. Now it takes me like one minute to shave, and I can use the same one-blade-disposable-razor for weeks, and I never have to worry about my face… or my balls.

…….While we’re at it;

  • Get allot of headaches? Stop taking headache medicine. Just iron man it through a couple of migraines, they’ll stop coming.
  • Have skin problems? Eczema? Acne? Just plain greazy? Stop using lotions and potions and medicated creams. Just use some old fashioned burn-your-skin bar soap like Ivory or Irish Spring or something. Two, three weeks later, your skin will be like new.

Think about it from a business point of view: When there is a need, fill it. Where there is no need, create need. There ain’t nothing in there about actually eliminating the need.

…….It’s just plain bad business to fill a need so good the need actually goes away. But thats what consumers expect. “Oh my skin itches, I think I’ll buy some lotion” Use the lotion and the itching goes away and the consumer is happy. Now the itching occurs more frequently but the consumer knows that more lotion will make the itching go away. Even if only temporarily.
…….Now suppose some chemist in the Research and Development lab at the lotion factory, came up with lotion that would actually cure your skin problems? Permanently. You think the board of directors would want to sell something like that? FUCK NO. People’ll stop needing lotion. Sales would plummet. It makes more money selling people 10 varieties of shit that don’t work.
…….They retire that chemist (full pension) and lock up his super-lotion in the vault forever.

Well the same goes or just about every other medicine, OR EVERY OTHER CONSUMER PRODUCT…

Posted on by saracanite

You smell that? Thats the smell of cigarette smoke and auto exhaust. Of Waffle House coffee and burnt oil. Thats the smell of the open road my friends. Do you have the grit to endure the white line fever? Can you stomach greasy spoon fare for weeks on end? Will you shy away from a flea infested roadside motel positioned directly over a dive bar? Does your bladder live up to the hype? Saddle up hombres! Because its time to hit the road…

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Step inside my ramblin’ shoes and be magically whisked away to the following location(s)…

Also, heres some road food for thought (do’s & don’ts)

Z