kissing puppies

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iOVmOy4Pd70

If only they’d show this to our world leaders, they would surely change their ways. NAW! Our secret masters have all systematicly been dehumanized along their brutal struggles for power, such that they would probably recoil in terror at the site of something so cute as “puppies kissing”. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if this will be considered pornographic by our “moral leaders” in the near future, just to get it banned to protect themselves by further limiting our ability to develop healthy emotions.

http://www.scifi.com/

SciFi is where I go when I want to see god awful TV movies and syndicated shows with absolutely retarded plots (no offense to any retards out there, but seriously what are you doing on your guardian’s computer? You know you’re gonna get the stink-glove again if you get caught) When the SciFi board of directors get together around their big executive veneer table to discuss new movies to air on their network, I think the chairman just asks “Does it suck donkey dong?” and when the suggester says “Oh God yes! It’s the most mindnumbingly awful film yet conceived!” the chairman says “Excellent, our masters will be pleased” Then they all share a heartfelt session of dark laughter. The only good stuff on SciFi was made before the network EXISTED. Everything else seems to be almost bad on purpose. And they’re another one of these networks that doesn’t play anything Halloween related all through October, and then in December they’re playing scary movies! WTF is that? I don’t know what that’s all about, but I’m not putting up with THAT shit. I think it
s some kind of neo-con plot and I’m not going to play ball like the other automotons, and pretend I don’t suspect that some faceless corporation bribes these networks to play the most sterile programing possible. I turn the TV off.
Next!

Freedom Ship – the City at Sea

http://www.freedomship.com/

Here we go! Hubris. When they build and subsequently wreck this thing, it will fuel a whole new generation of metaphors! Or maybe it won’t wreck at all, but the people on board will degenerate into a violent tribal culture and will cannibalize the weak and elderly! Thats gonna be sweet! Best yet, it’s a perfect model for a new society that has absolutely no ownership of property and no control over it’s own fate. The perfect future that our corporate masters are looking for new ways to sell us for a luxury price.
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The GM Futurliner Restoration Project

http://www.futurliner.com/

What the world needs is some more terrifying symbols of mankind’s hubris. If you’re gonna crush mother nature and bring the earth to it’s knees, don’t do it all behind a faccade of benevolence like Pfizer or Monsanto; Do it up front and be brutal about it! Do it with panache! This is so “steampunk” but it’s real! I love it. It reminds me of the Hercemer battle wagon from the Mystery Men motion picture. Look! Look! Dual wheels in the front too! Isn’t that just menacingly precious?

http://www.snakewalker.com/

NFW! This reminds me of something you would see at the double quick on the old Benny Hill show. What a great concept! Walk your snake. I’m not a snake guy, but if there was a snake out there that can slither fast enough to keep up with me jogging. I would so totally buy it and jog with that MUTHA’.

Order Jesus Pan

http://jesuspan.com/order.php

I can make a million with this thing! I can’t believe I never thought of this. I get this pan and move to a sleepy village in the country, and bask in the mobs of senile old ladies that will beg me for the privilege of touching my pancakes. “Sure you can touch ’em, but these toes ain’t gonna pedicure themselves!” I’ll be on easy street!